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Saturday, June 15th, 2002
1:09 am - work
i'm soooo exhausted right now...work kind of sucks...you know.

my dad...whom i have not seen in a couple of years is coming to visit me in three weeks...i'm kind of nervous and excited. it's a big deal for me.

i was also worried that my father wouldn't get a chance to meet andy before him and i get married...so it's cool that he is.

well, i'm going to sign off and go to sleep...night all.

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Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
1:01 am - mortgages
well my love and i are in the process of exploring housing opportunities...we want to get a mortgage on a home...but it's defintely not easy.

there's grants out there for first time buyers, but finding them is very hard. i'm hoping that andy and i being engaged will help qualify us for a grant, but by what i've seen so far is that andy and i need to be married to qualify...which isn't a bad thing but we can't afford our dream wedding right now and i don't want to have to elope.

i can't wait till he's my husband though. i'm so in love with him...we have an unbelievable cosmic connection. it's like our love was printed out in the stars before we knew of one another.

current mood: determined

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Saturday, April 13th, 2002
5:17 pm - gone...
it's finally nice outside...makes me want to skip town and go on a bit of a road trip. i'm kinda tired...but i work at 6.

i'm gettin antzy again. i want to take my andy and his dog and leave the state for a couple weeks. that'd be a lot of fun.

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Tuesday, March 19th, 2002
10:36 pm
well, my father responded extremely well to my engagement to my significant other.

i'm excited because a very good friend of mine is coming this weekend to visit and tomorrow i get to spend some time with andy.

finding a job lately isn't all that easy, which really kind of sucks. i'm exsuated right now, but since i've back to my mom's, i've turned into a bit of an insomniac. i hate it because i feel so deprived of sleep, but i couldn't actually fall asleep right now. i don't make much sense when i speak if i haven't slept. nor do i have much to say that is worth saying.

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Monday, March 18th, 2002
4:21 pm - my father
oh dear. my shelby is comin to see me this saturday.
I'm really scared because I took the chicken way out and emailed my father about my engagement with andy. I don't know what he's going to say about it. since my father lives in florida, he's never met andy. i probably shouldn't care what he thinks because i haven't seen him for a couple years.
oh well, if he loves me he'll accept it.

current mood: complacent

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Thursday, March 14th, 2002
9:06 pm
don't worry my tacie, i didn't quit school...i graduated early. and when andy and i set a concrete date i hope you come.

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3:24 am - money...
hmm...money sucks, but if you're on your own it's a nessecity. do to some sucky ass cercumstancs, i had to move backin with my mom. i shall work on my lisence and find a decent job so andy and i can finally get that place that's been suck a financial impossibility. why can;t things still be cheap.

better yet...why can't things be easy like they were when i was a young girl and my life and future where still protected. everything made sense then. i wasn't worried about making money or getting a car. i wasn't worried about when i can finally move in with my fiance. i love the independence, but the naive little girl in me thought life was easy. when i was younger, being independent was easy. i never thought that i would worry about money. i was never the type until i realized how important it really can be.

oh, what a silly rant.

current mood: awake

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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
10:59 pm - school....
wow...so i didn't think i'd ever say this, but i miss school...not so much school...but people that i would only see in school.

since i've got out, i've been working and sleeping...oh yea...and I got engaged...in two years i'll be the love of my life's wife. it's crazy...but wonderful. i couldn't imagine anyone better for me the andy is. i love him dearly.

i miss a couple teachers and a couple people i never see anymore, but i knew it would happen because these are people whom i talked to and conversed with in school, but never actually hung out. oh well, life moves on and we meet new people, though it'd be nice to talk to old people sometime.

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Tuesday, September 4th, 2001
7:42 pm - well...
I was in a not so churpy mood a couple hours ago...but because of my michelle and my loving and supportive boyfriend, andy, i am much better.

andy's great...he surprised me earlier this afternoon by showing up for a quik "hi", "i love you", and "goodbye". it was cool because i'm not supossed to see him until thursday after school, then it became tomorrow after school and today he stopped bye.

even though you won't be reading this..."i love you honey."

school sucks...all except acting...acting is cool. i'm actually looking forward to homecoming...i have a pretty, pretty princess dress. hell yea...

bye!

current mood: confused

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Saturday, August 4th, 2001
4:24 pm - hmm....
well...i'm actually updating this.

i have to home for the next week and take care of my niece. which is cool cause it gets me out of helping my boyfriend move.

i'm actually happy that they lost the house. now my brother and my boyfriend won't be living together anymore. it didn't bother me too much because my brother fun to party with and wade and tom lived there also. it sucked being around my brother when your sober and he's not...that's when he'll get on your nerves.

andy stayin at my place tonight. that's good. i love him. after grant i wasn't going to bother with love but andy treats me better than deserve.

current mood: anxious

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4:24 pm - hmm....
well...i'm actually updating this.

i have to home for the next week and take care of my niece. which is cool cause it gets me out of helping my boyfriend move.

i'm actually happy that they lost the house. now my brother and my boyfriend won't be living together anymore. it didn't bother me too much because my brother fun to party with and wade and tom lived there also. it sucked being around my brother when your sober and he's not...that's when he'll get on your nerves.

andy stayin at my place tonight. that's good. i love him. after grant i wasn't going to bother with love but andy treats me better than deserve.

current mood: anxious

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Tuesday, July 24th, 2001
2:12 pm - ok
so i'm finally updating my journal. my b-day is thursday...and shelby is back from indiana to see me...and a couple more might be comin up here...i don't know yet.

i'm excited...so bye.

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Sunday, July 8th, 2001
11:37 pm - cheese town
ahh...this is great...i'm in indiana at this very moment. i have to say...i mis home...but i'm enjoying seeing my wonderful most special friends.

4th of july rocked. some friends of mine from cheese town came to see me...some ghetto whore came to the party and pissed on the couch...eww...

shelby: i don't want to go back home i love it here.
abby: don't. stay and live with me or andy.
shelby: come back to chesterton with me.
abby: what...now?
shelby: sure why not.
abby: i'll have to tell my mom.
shelby: well call her then.
abby: ok.

abby: mom, i'm going to chesterton for a week or so.
mom: how are you getting there?
abby: shelby and andy.
mom: how are you getting back?
abby: we'll figure it out once i get there.
mom: ok. have fun. love ya.
abby: i will. love you too.

abby: oh...shit. i don't have money.
shelby: so?
abby: ok...i'll go.
shelby: cool.

andy: how long will you be gone?
abby: i'm not sure.
andy: ok.
abby: i'll miss you.
andy: i'll miss you too. i love you.
abby: i love you too sweetie.

this is great. andy...you're awsome for understanding. i'll definetly be back for your birthday. i fucking love life. i love being back in cheese.

current mood: i'm IN extasy

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Sunday, July 1st, 2001
2:56 am - boredem
i'm bored out of my fucking mind.

but that's ok cause i'll be leaving soon.

yay!

ha!

sorry. i realize my journals have been pointless. but there's really nothing good i've come up with lately. oh well, at least i'm leaving now.

boredem leaves you alone with your thoughts and my thoughts are scary at times. lately i've managed to aviod boredem so i can attempt to lose my mind.

current mood: horny

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Saturday, June 30th, 2001
10:14 pm - zanie bars and alcohol....
the fireworks were awsome. i fucked myself up pretty nicely. i ate a zanie bar and drank. damn it's been a long, long while since i've ate pills.

i met a friend of mine's sister yesterday. she's a fucking bitch. *sarcastically* oh yea, bitch, you asked what my brother was on? he was smokin crack you snotty bitch...right out in front of your mother's fucking store. you should've joined in...it was some good shit. watch what you say to my fucking family next time bitch.

sorry...she pissed me off. she was very mean for no appearent reason. then she had the fucking balls to show up to my brother's house last night. granted her brother lives there too and my brother didn't know cause he was passed out. but her brother was pissed off too (at her). she was just a bitch...now that i got to be mean...i feel better.

current mood: drained

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Thursday, June 28th, 2001
2:14 am
hmm...just watchin a movie and chattin to people. kinda bored though...i can't fuckin wait till next week.

grr...what to do...what to do...

current mood: calm

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12:34 am - hmm...
yea...it's still early.

i want to do somethin tomorrow...i was gonna do somethin with someone...but it doesn't look like that's happenin. so now i want to go see this awsome band tomorrow...but i don't have money for the cover and i don't know what th age to get in is...so we'll see what happens with tomorrow.

lalalala...singing is fun

current mood: blah

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Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
10:45 pm - yea...
so...fun is all cool. i want to see a jam band that's playin tomrrow but i don't have money for the cover.

bye the way jeff...haha...i'm not the way i am so i have an excuse to do somthin. haha

tuesday...i can't wait...i miss u guys. see u then.

current mood: high

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10:50 am - so...
ok...just been reading friends' journals. hmm...oh well.

people are chicken...sorry i've came to that conclusion. people are fucking chicken shits...not all...just most.

sometimes i wonder if i just waste my life on certain people...not all...just a few.

why do i care anyway? maybe that's just how i am.

yea...no...i don't know.

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12:21 am - hi all...
i'm...i don't know...

...i'm weird...but feelin good.

current mood: anxious

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